5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Drink

Too Much At Your Office Christmas Party
 

The holiday season is upon us, and that means your company will probably be having a Christmas party. Or a Non-Denominational Holiday Gathering, if you work for one of those “politically correct” places.
 

One of the most important things to remember during this holiday season is not to drink too much at your office party. Over-indulging on the company’s dime can lead to severe consequences; you could have to deal with ramifications ranging from embarrassment to termination. It’s like the great philosopher Aristotle once said, “You do too many Jagerbombs before 9 o’clock, and chances are you’re gonna try to make out with Kate from Accounting.” Or wait, maybe that wasn’t Aristotle. It might have been my friend Jay. Either way, Jay/Aristotle is right. You have to exercise judgment at these types of functions, otherwise it could be detrimental to your career.

The following videos are examples of what might happen if you drink too much at your company party.

5) The Elaine Dance
 

We all remember the episode of “Seinfeld” where Elaine danced at her company Christmas party. This sort of thing happens all the time. Drunk people love to dance, and some are better at embarrassing themselves than others. Take the guy in the 2nd video below, for example. Sure, it’s not as bad as Elaine’s “full-body dry heave set to music,” but this guy’s dance moves make it look like he’s doing the electric slide while operating a jackhammer. That won’t win you friends on the construction site or at the office.

The Elaine Dance from “Seinfeld”…

A Guy Doing His Own Real-Life Elaine Dance…

4) Who Brought the Cage?

Again with the dancing.  Don’t you people ever learn?  In fairness to this guy, when someone brings a cage to a company holiday party, it’s downright rude to not use it.  Notice that the guy in this video is dancing to the same song as the guy in the clip above (“Smack That” by Akon).  If you’re DJing a corporate gig, you’d be wise to leave that one off the playlist.

3) You Have Exactly One Hour to Fix That Tree

Getting wasted and acting stupid isn’t just for normal people. Celebrities do it, too. In this video, “24” star Keifer Sutherland says something nonsensical and then tackles a Christmas tree. Which brings us to our next point: Drunk people break things. When Keifer Sutherland pretends to be a pirate and knocks over a tree, people laugh and he goes about his business as usual. But if you stumble into a table at your office party and knock over all the fine china, you better believe that’s coming out of your 401K.

 

2) Somebody Missed the Sexual Harassment Seminar

In most companies, touching of any kind is discouraged. That generally includes dancing up alongside your female co-worker and grinding her until it gets uncomfortable enough that an older, mother hen-type is forced to intervene. I don’t know what was going through this guy’s head. I mean, personally, I would’ve gone for the girl in the white.
 

1) And This, My Friends, Is Precisely Why You Shouldn’t Get Drunk At Your Company Party

I think it’s safe to assume this girl was fired the next day.
 

If you’re going to drink at a company holiday party, please everyone, practice moderation. I know that doesn’t sound fun, but remember, you’re technically at work, so it’s important that you present yourself in a professional manner. And besides, as soon as you’ve put in a couple hours of face time with the higher-ups, you can sneak out the side door and go get wasted at the bar with your real friends.